Friends of a friend are looking for a place in my neighborhood, and in the price range in which I plan to list. My house isn’t yet officially back on the market, but who says no to a potential buyer?! I, however, have been living in a state of relative filth (but it’s my filth, and I’m OK with that) for months now during my wee kitchen proj…who am I kidding. I’m simply an atrocious housekeeper.
I’d rather read/edit/build/cook/work/garden/do just about anything rather than clean. So I had but two hours after work tonight in which to:
• Feed the cats and hope they finished their stinky food in time for me to hide the bowls
• Vacuum three levels of the house and two staircases
• Clean both litter boxes
• Fold and put away the massive pile of clean laundry that usually lives on the guest-room bed
• Re-clean one litter box and re-vacuum the floor around it
• Clean the bathrooms (well, put my crap away and wipe out the sinks, anyway)
• Make the beds
• Clean up the fresh cat puke (note: there is no non-fresh cat puke…that I know of; that’s the one chore I do whenever necessary)
• Stash as many as possible of the plethora of tools scattered about the first floor (which I will now never again be able to find)
• Re-clean the other litter box and re-vacuum the floor around it. Because my cats hate me.
• Empty the dishwasher so as to be able to remove the pile of dirty dishes from my sink and stash them therein
• Clean the rest of the kitchen (all those nice new cabinets with plenty of storage space, yet I leave crap all over the counters)
• Take out the trash
• Gather and hide the many cat toys
• Give up on getting the shop/study in presentable shape
• Give up on scrubbing the shower, or removing the bug carcasses from the little-used tub on the third floor
• Give up on de-cat-hairing the curtains in the living room
• Give up on whisking off, folding and stashing the blanket that protects my pretty, new couch from cat hair (and keeps me from wholly enjoying it)
• Give up on sweeping the front porch
• Give up on picking up the trash on the sidewalk/berm (the joy of inner-city living)
• Make coffee to cover up any smells I didn’t address
• Wash my hands and wash my hands of it.
Then one minute spent answering the door and saying hello, followed by five minutes of apologizing for the less-than-pristine state of things. And 40 or so minutes spent showing my two visitors around house and pointing out all the stuff that is a) less than perfect and b) needs cleaning. I am a terrible (but honest) salesperson (who needs to hire a cleaning service).
Nice couple. They seemed to like it. Fingers crossed.